Mia and Roxanne
by Hikickr9
Summary: I'm having trouble with school. I need someone to talk too. And I picked you.
1. Intro

Mia and Roxanne Introduction By Hikickr9 and Amethyst Radochonski  
  
A/N - Hikickr9: This was a cute idea I had and I could have only done it with Amethyst. Some of this is true. A lot of this is not. I think it's a nice twist we've done, and we totally have more ideas coming your way. ;-)  
  
Another A/N - Amethyst Radochonski - I hope you like it, ya know, because we both worked hard on it. Enjoy and stuff. Oh, yeah, we own everything so HA to you! Muwaha.  
  
~Mia's Intro~  
  
That's what I've learned to do, walk away, away from my problems, away from making decision that could hurt someone. I try so hard to do what's right, but sometimes the right thing, is wrong. I want to make it clear I don't care what you think of me or how I look. I just want people to understand me and point me in the right direction. It doesn't seem so hard, but why can't I do it?  
  
People like to say I have an attitude and it needs to change; only if I change, I'm not me, and why be someone I'm not? I look around and take in everything, you say, or what's written. Because if I don't remember, you use it against me. Try and push me down till I'm nothing. Only I get stronger, stronger than you, and stronger than ever before. You can't hurt me because I don't threats you can't back up. Trust me actions speak louder than words.  
  
~Roxanne's Intro~  
  
When people start to ignore you, it's hard to adjust to. But, once it's happened many times, it's easy to ignore them, too. Although, when they start talking to you again, you can't help but respond back to them. Even if you're really mad at them, you're like a machine and start talking to them as if they never ignored you. And it's all because you are way too nice to ignore them or insult them. Well, that's how it is for me, at least. My friends continue to ignore me, and they only ask me for homework or what not. Then they ignore me. It's a continuous cycle - no one ever talks to me because I'm me. They just use me, like I'm an object. Well, I'm not an object, believe it or not. I'm a human being with a heart and a brain and I've got news for you. I HAVE FEELINGS. 


	2. The Beginning

To: Roxanne@mailtogo.com  
  
From: Mia@mailtogo.com  
  
Time: "TIME"  
  
Date: "DATE"  
  
I'm writing you about what happened today. You can delete this or read this. I just need to be able to type this out and know it's going somewhere.  
  
Today, of course, started out normal. I woke up and did my normal things. Got on the bus, went to school. Again, the usual. I got to school, yet, the bus ride was horrible. No one understands me so I try to blast the music from my cd player as loud as I can only, it doesn't block out all the rude comments they're making. I finally got to my half locker, grabbed my books before the locker above me opens to drop more books on my head. I ended up slitting my finger up against the locker (more like took a chunk of skin out of it), it started bleeding, but of course I just wiped away the blood. It was nothing new. I got to first hour, the only person in the class. Sat my books down and walked to the drinking fountain, checked my watch, 5 minutes until class starts. Oh goodie. I talked to the people around me. Then the bell rang, 2nd Hour, 3rd, 4th. I have 4th hour lunch again for the 3rd year in a row. Aren't you in 9th grade? I'm in 8th. Well, I always sit with the same people. Eat the same things. I used to call these people my friends but then they started talking behind my back. I wouldn't tolerate that. I tried to talk to them, but they wouldn't understand.  
  
~Hiding Under Cover~  
  
You don't seem to understand me,  
  
Even though I'm trying to get you to see,  
  
All the feelings I've been hiding,  
  
And I'm really trying,  
  
To give you the change to see,  
  
Beyond my intense cover hiding me,  
  
Would you even take the chance?  
  
Or would you be in a trance,  
  
That only lets you,  
  
Have something else to do,  
  
Because once you get past the cover,  
  
I'll tell you everything I've been dying over,  
  
And you'll begin to see what I really mean,  
  
You won't fall head over heels,  
  
But would you at least let down your shield,  
  
All the feelings I've been hiding,  
  
That I've been deciding,  
  
Searching for a way to find my heart,  
  
So that it can be apart,  
  
Of that cover I'm putting down,  
  
To surround,  
  
My feelings that you're hearing,  
  
That may be steering,  
  
You away from me,  
  
But now I'm free,  
  
And you can see I'm really trying,  
  
(This is not finished)  
  
Doesn't that poem relate to my situation, a bit? It always seems to me that I'm not getting a fair chance; does it ever feel like that to you? Like, when you're trying really hard to explain something to someone and they leave to talk to someone else. And how does that make you feel? That's what my therapist would say, well in one word, Unimportant. I can think about it daily. The fact that no one listens, it's quite easy around here to feel less and less important to what's going on around you. It actually seems so natural. Everyone needs attention. Sometimes they want to be the center of it. They don't realize it though. But when you're knocked away by a friend, you definitely do not feel important.  
  
My day flew and as I talked to more people the more voice I gained back. The bus ride home wasn't so bad. My music was on lower. But when I got home, the attitude I'd kept insides all day just begun to burst out. My parents seem to order me around the minute I walk in. Of course, I'm the kid and they're the adult. I have to do everything they say. I lose my voice the minute I gain it back.  
  
No one seems to notice the damage they do. Well, that's about it.  
  
Thanks,  
  
Me. 


	3. The Reply

To: Mia@mailtogo.com  
  
From: Roxanne@mailtogo.com  
  
Time: "TIME"  
  
Date: "DATE"  
  
Wow, your day sounds worse than mine. And I thought I had the worst day in the history of bad days. I guess I was proved wrong.  
  
This morning, I woke up late. I had to rush through everything quickly. My hair was a total mess and I couldn't even put on makeup. Of course, I missed the bus. I walked to school alone, all by myself. Oh, and you'll never guess who I saw on the way to school. Nadine. Yep, my ex-best friend. She was standing with a bunch of popular kids from school. I believe they were teasing one of those computer nerds with the huge glasses and braces. Anyway, I know she saw me. She looked right at me as the rest of her friends did at the same time. And I saw them laughing. But it's not like I care. You know, I wish she would have smiled at me, waved at me, said hi to me or something. I just miss her so much, I guess. I think there is something deep inside of me that hopes she will change. I guess her new friends offer her something I never could offer her. What that is, I have no idea. All I offered her was true friendship. All they offer her is popularity. I always thought true friendship was better.  
  
Anyway, I got to school right when the bell rang. So, I practically ran to my locker on the third floor to get my Algebra book. Then to the first floor for gym. I just made it there before the doors locked. In gym, we played soccer. It was boring, so I won't get too much into it. But, when gym was over, I don't know where Adrienne went. We always go to algebra together. I thought I was following right behind her, but I guess not. During class, she didn't look at me or anything. She also ditched me at gym - did I mention that?  
  
But that's how my day went. It just kept on repeating the same thing. My friends ditched me for someone else or they didn't want to be seen with me. Whatever the reason was, it seemed I had no friends whatsoever. Only at lunch my friends talked to me. Rachel wouldn't talk to me at all though. Did I exist in her world? Jessica and I talked to each other most of the time.  
  
That's all of it, which is a pretty easy day compared to yours, I guess. Oh, I forgot to tell you - Rachel is in my science class, the class after lunch. She sits two seats behind me next to Anne. She talks to Anne constantly and I never get to talk to Anne. Oh, well. I talked to Alexis but she didn't seem too interested in what I had to say.  
  
You know, Dan is in my science class. I don't believe I told you about him. He's practically the love of my life. I know it sounds corny but most of the time, I can't get my mind off of him. Yes, I know pretty sad. No one knows about him except Anne and Jessica. I was going to tell Rachel, but right when I wanted to, she stopped talking to me. Anyway, I don't know how to describe him except for hot. He's so popular so I know for a fact I would never, ever in a million years have a chance with him.  
  
Well, that's really the end of my day. (When I got home, no one was home and when my mom did come home, I was ignored.) I know it seems worse than yours, I was exaggerating.  
  
I'm sorry about your day. I hope your finger is okay and you didn't loose it. Okay, that was a pathetic joke. I just don't want you to feel so down. I know it's hard to think of positive thoughts, but just try to think of happy things. Not peace signs and birds and all that - just the positive side of things. I've been trying to do that lately. I think it's been working slightly. It just might be the thing to make you happier.  
  
And your poem - I like it. It's better than anything I could have written. You should continue it, I'd love to hear it. And, it's kind of depressing. Just think of the positive side of things and I don't think you will be writing things like that. I'm not sure but who knows.  
  
I like that you are expressing your feelings through poetry. You know, I'd express my feelings through poetry, but I totally suck at it. I think writing is more of my thing, you know?  
  
Wow, I've gotten really off topic. Well, you know me - always getting off topic. I have to go now and complete all of my homework. I've never had this much homework. Talk to you later, bye!  
  
Love,  
  
Roxanne 


	4. Mia's Schedule

To: Roxanne@mailtogo.com  
  
From: Mia@mailtogo.com  
  
Time: "00:00 PM/AM"  
  
Date: "00/00/03"  
  
Thanks for listening. And thanks for responding.  
  
Your day does sound bad. Some of them sound like my friends. Just leaving you there to fend for yourself. Not caring that you're out there, waiting to know why. True friendship is more important than popularity. I think so, too. I have a few good friends. But they too leave me there just to sit and think who my real friends are.  
  
Today is a new day. I like to think that everything can change today. But of course, it's the same thing. I run to the bus stop this time, I can't miss it because it's a 20 mile walk, I believe, to get to the middle school. I get on the bus and grab my cd player out of my backpack while moving down the isle, we're all 3 to a seat and a lot of the eighth graders are fat, not me though. I'm just right in the middle. I'm not skinny, but I'm definitely not fat. I find a seat with one person in it and turn on the music. A kid behind me is already making fun of my shirt; it says "I'm the evil twin". I don't even turn around; I can't stand to look at this kid. His name is Daniel, he's 14 and he's a little taller than me. Everyone begins to join in, but I can't hear them.  
  
School is easier when the room is really loud, it's strange because I can concentrate better, and I don't like it dead silent. But 1st hour, I have gym, too!! That's so weird, isn't it? We're in health for awhile and we get like a week of physical education. I like gym a lot. You get to run around and be yourself. And you get to see all the guys trying to impress someone. It's never me and I'm happy it isn't because it's so much fun watching the guys play basketball and some girls sitting and watching. I try to join in the basketball games. I'm to short though. My friend Michelle, she's Miss. Athlete. She can run, play soccer, play basketball and have a boyfriend. She's great, only I don't know if she's my friend anymore. She's changed so much, trying to ignore me. We used to have the same crush, she got over him, and later I did. There's this boy who sits in front of me in health. He's in my gym hour a second year. It's cool because his cousin is in the class too. They try and kill each other by throwing pencils at each other. I've been hit twice.  
  
2nd hour is Algebra, Isn't that the same for you? I'm having a hard time in that class. The teacher doesn't explain things to well... 3rd hour is Science and that's nothing new. Of course, Michael is in that class. I don't like him, not after what he's done. He doesn't look at me, talk to me, or mention my name. I wish I could tell him how I feel about what he did, but he turns away and doesn't listen. He's so hard to talk to you. 4th hour is German and Lunch. German's fun, we come up with the stupidest thing. Like G6, do you have G6?? I know I don't have G6. G is gay, and 6 is sechs - could be spelled wrong- (Sex). So we go around asking people if they have gay sex. LOL! 5th hour is Challenge Comm. Arts. or Challenge Communication Art or Advanced Language Arts. It's a cool class, nothing too special. 6th hour is band. I play oboe, I break oboe. 7th hour is U.S. History, nothing fancy.  
  
My mom is trying to get a job at the school. That's such a big plus because that means she can drive me to school. I don't want to be on the bus anymore. It's to depressing.  
  
I forgot to mention what happened at lunch today. Michelle and Kayla decided to try and talk about this party, I'm not invited too, and I could make out everything Michelle was saying, only Kayla couldn't and when Michelle gave up and Kayla was still confused I told Kayla what Michelle was trying to say, and Michelle looked at me all wide eyed at me and was like, "How did you know." I told her I could read her lips. She was amazed, but upset. I could see it in her eyes. The fact that I could know what they were saying meant she really couldn't talk in front of me anymore. But the thing is, you can't keep anything away from me. I pry everything out of people. I just need to know if it's about me and if it isn't I leave you alone, but people end up telling me everything. It's so weird.  
  
Anyways, that's about it again.  
  
Looking forward to your e-mail,  
  
Mia 


	5. Roxanne's Scheldule

To: Mia@mailtogo.com  
  
From: Roxanne@mailtogo.com  
  
Time: "00:00 PM/AM"  
  
Date: "00/00/03"  
  
First of all, you're very welcome. It's nothing, really - I'm always here to listen, you know.  
  
Anyway, I think I was kind of exaggerating. It wasn't that bad, I guess. This day was better, I suppose. A little bit, maybe.  
  
I got to the bus stop this time, too. I'm thankful for that, I think it was just luck. Well, whatever it was, I'm glad I made it to the bus. Too bad I don't know anyone to talk to on the bus. I doubt anyone would want to talk to me. I sat in front of the bus, as usual. I was at the first seat. I was alone there. It doesn't matter though. But, when I finally got to school, I was really hoping someone (like Jessica) would be standing by my locker, waiting for me to get there. But, no one I knew wasn't anywhere near my locker for a fifty-foot radius.  
  
Do you really have gym first period? That's so cool - if we went to the same school we would have it the same time. I guess I would have someone other than Adrienne to talk to in gym and algebra. But she ignores me anyway so I don't talk to her. She's off with some new, better friend. And you have algebra second hour, too!? Wow, what are the chances of that? My teacher two years ago didn't explain things so well. We had to figure everything out in that class and I almost failed that class. My teacher this year is so nice. She explains everything so well and makes sure no one is behind or confused.  
  
For third hour, I have this stupid speech class that I need to take in order to graduate from high school. I hate it, personally. But that's all right. And who's Michael? And what did he do? I don't remember, sorry. I have no idea - did you like him or something? Anyway, for fourth hour is world history for me. BORING! Ugh, I hate that class so much. I don't want to even talk about it. And that was funny with the gay sex thing. Heh. What's fifth hour? Challenge Communication Art? What's that? Do you draw or what? I've never heard of it so tell me about it, okay? At fifth hour, no one talked to me. Or looked at me, for that matter. Okay, Jessica looked at me once or twice but didn't even try to speak to me. I wonder what's going on with her. Anyway, sixth was science and the best. I got to stare at Dan all period long. It was heaven and back.  
  
Blah, blah, blah, I don't feel like typing out the rest. Spanish and English were boring, as History was. It was boring through the rest of the day until I got on my laptop. I don't know what else to write about so I'll talk to you later, okay?  
  
Sincerely, Roxanne  
  
P.S. - Oh, and by the way, I laughed when you said the boy who you used to like sits in front of you in health. And that he and his cousin try to kill each other with throwing pencils. I'm sorry that you got hit twice. 


	6. AFI

To: Roxanne@mailtogo.com From: Mia@mailtogo.com Time: "00:00 PM/AM" Date: "00/00/03"  
  
Yeah, it does sound a little better, I mean since you made the bus and all. It should've gotten better than that the rest of the day, since of course, something good started out the day. Hmm. Not knowing anyone on the bus can be a big minus. I know almost everyone, but the new 6th graders. I know a couple from summer school.  
  
Michael. He did something unspeakable. I'll tell you sometime. But not now. He could've gotten everyone in so much trouble. I'm just glad we stopped it. But because I did what he wanted and he didn't realize the outcome. He hates me. He did look at me once the other day and point a pen in my face and say my name. But, when I tried to say something, he turned away and started talking to a girl, much prettier than me. They all are. Except for the few. I'm amazed that people only make fun of my hair and clothes. It's amazing.  
  
Well about the pencils. It's cool. The cousin, Adam, is a weirdo anyway. It's kinda funny. I slapped him once, so hard that his arm was red. He was trying to run away with something of mine. I didn't let that happen. But his cousin, the guy who sits in front of me, was laughing so hard.  
  
Well, I bought a new cd. AFI, Sing the Sorrow. AFI stands for A Fire Inside. My cousin told me about them then they won the MTV2 Award on the VMAs. Of course, people on the bus had to tell me that they were gay. I don't care though. It's just louder music to cover the people putting me down. I've just begun on how to rebel.  
  
Today was just like the other days; go through class listening to everything. Only, during 5th hour this kid, Tim, walked into the class when Miss. Athlete and I were talking about who was cuter. Orlando Bloom or Johnny Depp. We asked him and he looked at us like we were crazy. It was cool, because the teacher even asked him and he was like, uuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  
  
Well, I have to make this short. I have to finish some stuff. Talk to you later.  
  
Thanks, Mia 


	7. TGIF

To: Mia@mailtogo.com Wrom: ZAAFXISHJEXXIMQZUIVO Time: "00:00 PM/AM" Date: "00/00/03"  
  
Wow, this week has been a huge rush. A real headache, too. The whole week sucked. Well, mostly, I guess. Today seemed the worst out of all days of this week. I don't know if it was Mike Wanch in Spanish saying "I gotta piss," or some people laughing at me in Algebra. Or, maybe, perhaps, it was tripping on a stair on the way to English and I fell flat on my face. TGIF. Thank God it's Friday.  
  
Well, those three things basically described my day. I wouldn't know what else to say, except that Mike Wanch pisses me off so much. I swear - I wanted to punch him so bad in Spanish. I hate guys like him - stupid, obnoxious and popular.  
  
You say you bought a new CD? I heard of AFI. I don't really care for them much. And that's awesome that they won an award. I guess they're good then. And, don't care what other people say about the music you listen to. What matters is that you listen to the music you like. I know this is off topic but I'm planning to buy Linkin Park's new CD and Something Corporate's Leaving Through The Window. Just thought I might say that.  
  
In gym, we were playing soccer and I was goalie. Ugh - I hate soccer. And my teacher loves it when the field is muddy. Ugh - absolutely no one likes the field when it's muddy. Everyone except my teacher. Ugh - I've seen people slip and fall. They hate it, I can tell. I almost fell, too, but thank God I didn't.  
  
God, I still can't get the "I gotta piss" thing out of my mind. I really can't. I just want to punch Mike Wanch in the face so bad. Can you be anymore obnoxious? I hate him so bad. Ugh. I don't even know why I can't stop thinking of it. I know I shouldn't let it bother me but I can't let it. I'll try to stop thinking about it.  
  
In History class, we had this project due that I totally forgot about. I don't even know how I forgot about it. I usually don't forget about stuff like that. I never, ever forget projects. How could I have been so stupid! UGH! And, I found out I failed my science test today, too. Isn't that great? A wonderful weekend. I studied for that science test, too. Stupid teacher. I guess I just froze. I thought I was going to do really well. Guess not.  
  
Anyway, I guess I should go. I'm having my friend sleep over tonight. She's coming in about thirty minutes. I gotta get the house ready. I'll talk to you later. Bye!  
  
Roxanne 


	8. Linkin Park

To: Roxanne@mailtogo.com  
  
From: Mia@mailtogo.com  
  
Time: 9:01 PM  
  
Date: A day near tomorrow  
  
I want to say I know how you feel. But I don't. That "I gotta piss" thing is kinda funny. Around here guys just grab their crotch and think nothing of it. -.- Speaking of which there was a baseball game tonight (Friday) and every guy including my neighbor (another 9th grader) was doing it. I was like, "OMG, stop grabbing yourself."  
  
Well, today was short and sweet; Pencil Thrower and Pencil Collector were at it again, only they were throwing gym clothes at each other. I can't believe them. Well. Today was nothing new. I'm sick of school already. And I'm glad it's the weekend too.  
  
About one of my friend's Monika, she's got this boyfriend, Alex, totally nut job, not really. Well, Alex won't stop IMing me. Nonstop, "Is Monika home, can you call her, blah blah blah."  
  
Well, I made Garret all upset at me again. I can't talk to anyone. People just don't listen to me. Not well anyway. They turn around and walk off. Without a word.  
  
I'm reading a new book series called Everworld. Michelle got me addicted. I'm going to get her addicted to FanFiction, there's this awesome fanfic about Harry Potter's parents, she won't read it but I'll make her.  
  
This is short. Sorry. I had so much to write but I lost it all. I'll resend you an e-mail with what I was going to say.  
  
Oh and about Linkin Park, my dad won't let me listen to them. I wanted that cd so bad. I even had the money. But he said it was all loud and depressing like. But he also let me get Pink and AFI, soooo. Well, I'm sitting here chewing on plastic. Don't ask me why. I'm tired and we're going to some Air Force Base this weekend.  
  
Your Pathetic E-mailer,  
  
Mia 


	9. Nokia

To: Mia@mailtogo.com  
  
From: Roxanne@mailtogo.com  
  
Time: 4:37 PM  
  
Date: 09/12/03  
  
Okay, I'm so sorry about not sending you an email sooner, but this has been one hectic week. I'll give you a quick summary. I had to finish a project in one day, get loads of homework, blah, blah, blah, and then, now that it's Friday, NO HOMEWORK! WHOO! (Okay, that was vague. Sorry about that.)  
  
Next things next. The "I gotta piss thing" is kind of funny now that I think of it. But, at the time, I was really mad. Guys hold their crotch here, too, most unfortunately. You'd think they don't know how to get girls. But, they always have a girlfriend. How annoying.  
  
About that Alex freak - boy, that sounds so annoying. If it were me, I'd block him. Oh, well, that's just me. Monkia is her name? Nokia? Heh - no offense. I just felt I had to. . Don't tell her I said that. But that is a pretty name - I once knew a Monica at my grammar school. She was really mean to everyone and she only had one friend.  
  
I'm currently reading a book called The Gospel According to Larry by Janet Tashjian. It's pretty good so far, but I'm only on 85. I'm really curious to wonder what's going to happen. I gotta finish reading it tonight or the next night. I love reading late at night.  
  
Okay, about my day at school. Or, rather a week. At lunch on Thursday, Rachel and Yvonne got so mad at Jessica. (I forgot why, though, so don't ask.) So, today, they moved to a new lunch table with some seniors. They offered for me to sit with them, but I declined. Jessica has always been so nice to me so I just couldn't, you know? She just has usually always been there. Like you!  
  
Trienta y uno. Thirty-one. You know what that is for? My new favourite number and the number on Dan's football jersey. See? He's in the freshman football team so I have cero chance with him anyway. (Wow, I really feel like typing in Spanish. Weird. Cero means zero, by the way.) Or for him to even talk to me - sucks, doesn't it?  
  
Anyway, my history teacher, Mr. Wepak, scares me really bad. He always sneaks up behind you when you are working quietly on your history homework and he makes a correction on your homework. It's not that part that bothers me, it's because he yells in your ear. I am dead serious. Yells! Can you believe that? Ugh, I think I'll go deaf by the end of the year. Oh, well, I better go out with Jessica to see Dickie Roberts. It came out last week - did you see it? I am absolutely dying to see it. It sounds so hilarious. Well, if you haven't seen it, go see it! Bye!  
  
Your Counter-Pathetic E-Mailer, Roxanne  
  
P.S. - Oh, yeah, before I forgot. Why can't you listen to Linkin Park? That sucks. I mean they don't even have that bad of language compared to other musicians. Take 50 Cent, Eminem, System Of A Down and almost anything else. They're worse, I'm sure. 


	10. Hospital

To: Roxanne@gomail.com From: Mia@gomail.com Time: 6:00 PM Date: 9/21/03  
  
Roxanne,  
  
It's been what two weeks? I'm really sorry I haven't been online or called lately, some stuff has been going on and I've been busy.  
  
Where do I begin? I stepped on a rock and twisted my ankle. x.X Not smart. I stepped on the arch nail thing that holds the sewers together, and twisted my other ankle. I have no feet!! Ahh. Anyways, speaking in Spanish is cool, here's some German:  
  
Wie heisst du? Ich heisse Mia. Ich bist dreizehn!  
  
I said - What is your name? My name is Mia. I am 13! Well, I've been a brat to everyone around here, D.I. is starting up and some people that are joining it are doing it for popularity. D.I. is a drama geek feast, not a prep city. So, I don't know why they're joining. I'm not a geek, but some people may challenge that. I do D.I. for the fun of it.  
  
Anyways, it's a lot different here now; I'm learning a lot more about attitude and religion. The Jewish New Year is coming up this week and I'm trying to be forgiven for anything I've done wrong. NOT HAPPENING! I don't know what I've done wrong and I can't ask forgiveness for something I don't know about, anyways, Miss. Athlete and I have a little problem on our hand. This boy she likes, and he likes her back, also like me. He would tell her, that he loved her. Did the same thing to me, only I called him a liar and walked away. We're trying to get him to admit it. Hey would you hold on, the phone's ringing. (I know, it's an e-mail, but I wanna let you know what's going on). Time - 6:25 PM  
  
I'm back - It's 10:54 PM - My brother's in the hospital. A drunk driver hit him crossing the street to his friend's house. I'll write more as I find out more.  
  
Your Help-Wanted E-mailer,  
  
Mia 


	11. Worriness

To: Mia@gomail.com From: Roxanne@gomail.com Time: 4:21 PM Date: 9/22/03  
  
Oh my god, Mia, are you serious? Is your brother okay? Is he gonna live!? You gotta email me soon or else I'm going to die of worriness and it'll be all your fault. I'll try to act calm and whatever. It's so difficult, though. I'll try, so here goes nothing.  
  
D.I. sounds pretty cool, except for the popular crowd to join. I'd hate it, so I wouldn't go. That's just me - I hate being around popular people. They really make me sick. (It was some girl's birthday today and she was all "DON'T STEP ON MY FLOWERS!" I really wanted to step on them. Too bad I didn't.)  
  
Cómo te llamas? Me llamo Roxanne.  
  
I said, "What's your name? My name is Roxanne." I forgot how to say how old I am, but whatever. I just thought that was pretty cool. If I learn Spanish a bit more, I could start writing Spanish in emails. But, then I'd have to translate, which isn't a problem.  
  
Anyway, I'm still so worried about your brother. I can't get it out of my mind. Email me A.S.A.P. with all the updates and everything. I really hope he's okay. Man, it'll be awful if something really bad happens to him. I guess I'll go to my Algebra homework, to try and get my mind off things.  
  
A Worried-Sick Friend,  
  
Roxanne 


	12. Bruises

A/N - hikickr9 - This is a very hard chapter to write, I'm trying my hardest to put some effort into. BTW, NO my brother isn't in the hospital, yes I have a little brother, no I don't want him dead and this isn't against anyone, if I use your name, it just came out that way..  
  
To: Roxanne@gomail.com  
  
From: Mia@gomail.com  
  
Time: 12:16 PM  
  
Date: 9/29/03  
  
Yes, I'm worried. But not that much, He'll get through it, I know he will. God's with him.  
  
Okay, Now I sound stupid. The doctor says my brother's doing great, he'll get him on some meds but he'll be in the hospital for a while. There's another guy in the room my brother's in.  
  
He broke his: Left arm and wrist, and his right ankle. Not bad.  
  
He bruised: I can't begin to say. Almost everything, he's covered in bruises from head to toe. All black and blue, some has turned a purple color and there are places of light blue, too.  
  
I might have breast cancer. I can't tell you how I know, it's to gross. Even for me. It's also wrong; I'm not the kind of person who can live knowing that she might have a disease. I'm going to the doctor sometime this week. Sometime. Don't know when. Here I go though, talking away, about nothing, nothing.  
  
My brother is in the hospital, sick. The guy next to him got a car over his legs. Crushed them good. There's still red sparkly, crusty, trash smelling blood over the legs. The doctor's said if they removed it they would have half his blood on the floor so they have to find a good time to operate. This guy is stuck in bed for awhile; they have to give this med through a tube that goes through a needle in his arm, in one of his veins or arteries. The med goes with water, so he doesn't have to drink, but the med is to help the pain this guy has. I asked what would happen if they gave it to my brother and they said he's to young to have and he would die. I hope they don't mix the meds. I wouldn't want to see my brother die that way. Of old age. That's the way I want to see my brother die. I don't want him dying because he had a fiery, burning, run-away car run him over and have it crunch every bone in his body, I don't like the image I'm getting. The smell, garbage can, blood smell. All the blood spilling out like it's a river and it's natural. Of course it isn't.  
  
They're putting my brother's accident in the newspaper, they came by to interview.  
  
This is the way I would write it.  
  
Boy Gets Smashed by Drunk. A 30 year old women driving a Hyundai Sante Fe runs over 10 year old Aaron Michaelson. The boy is now in the hospital and family is worried sick. It was on Highway 44. The women was arrested and put in jail. End of story.  
  
Well, talk to you later.  
  
Your Breast-Cancer No way Person,  
  
Mia 


	13. Medications

To: Mia@mailtogo.com  
  
From: Roxanne@mailtogo.com  
  
Time: 5:17 PM  
  
Date: 10/24/03  
  
Ha. Nope, I didn't die, believe it or not. The last month has been so busy it made me hectic. I'd rather not go through it, besides telling you that I really hate homework to the bone. Tests and projects included in that, too.  
  
And let me get something straight...You think you have Breast Cancer, and you haven't gone in for a check up with your doctor? Check for bumps, (or are they called lumps?) is the only thing I suggest. If you see bumps/lumps, then I think you've got some problems. But, if there are none, I wouldn't worry about a thing. It'll always be good just to go into the doctor for a regular old check up anyway, right?  
  
Okay, with that out of the way, yesterday was my older sister's birthday. Yup - Lindsey's birthday. She turned eighteen. We're going out for a dinner tomorrow night, because that's when my whole family has time to go eat out. Well, to go eat out together as a family.  
  
Oh, and that's awesome! Your brother better be doing good because it's all I've been able to think about for the past month! Every day, I've been constantly thinking, "Oh, I hope Mia's brother is okay..." or, "Aaron better get well!" Still been worried. But I'm so relieved he's going to be okay. By the way, tell him Roxanne says hi and that to get well soon!  
  
And that's so cool that your brother is going to be in the newspaper! Even if it's about his accident, I guess. I was never in the newspaper. Nope, never. That really sucks, though, but I hate attention anyway. I guess it's just kinda cool to see your name written in the newspaper, so you feel special.  
  
Oh, and the doctors/nurses couldn't ever mix up the medications. Seriously. If they did that, you really could sue for loads of money. And, they should be good enough professionals to not be so stupid to mix up them! Their PhD is taken away if that does happen, I believe.  
  
Well, that's all I gotta say. I gotta go eat an early dinner. And, I'm starving anyway so it's all good. I'll see ya later! Bye!  
  
Much Love From, Roxanne 


	14. News

To: Roxanne@gomail.com  
  
From:Mia@gomail.com  
  
Time: 10:53 PM  
  
Date: November 1, 2003  
  
Roxanne,  
  
It's been awhile since I wrote this e-mail and trust me it's going to be long, so much has happened and I'm happy to tell you all of it.  
  
I'm going to make some lists...  
  
Bad things:  
  
People calling me names, over and over again, it doesn't get to me until people around them think it's funny to let 'him' say, "You look like sh*t, You talk like sh*t, wait no you are just sh*t."  
  
Having someone lie to my face. Acting like they want to be my friend but they tell everyone else that they hate me.  
  
Last, talking about something in front of me that you don't want me to know. That's stupid, if you don't want me to know then don't talk about it in front of me.  
  
Well, I got my hair highlighted copper red, and cut so my bangs blend slowly down into my hair. It looks really nice and a lot of the kids at school and parents think it's great.  
  
For Halloween I went Trick-or-Treating, because I'm only 13 and I still have time to get free candy. :-P I got a bunch of candy though. 8.5 pounds, maybe more, I'm never sure. Our vacuum cleaner broke and my parents are arguing about that because my grandmother and grandfather are coming to visit soon and we need the house clean.  
  
In other news: (LOL) I've tried doing a web-site which doesn't look half bad, I'm hoping to really get into it further and make it look great, I've been getting HTML codes from all over and even testing out some other stuff on my own.  
  
Okay, now to go on about Aaron and me! Aaron is doing great in the hospital; it's almost time to come home! They need to finish off the IV medicine and He'll be on his way. I've told him many times that you've said hi and he hopes to see you when he's out of the hospital, won't that be a day? Lol.  
  
Me and the breast cancer though! Yes, I have it. It's stupid, they say that it's the kind I don't have to get my breast chopped off for, I have a cyst in one breast and that's a sign of breast cancer, and for me it means I have it. I'm hoping to find out what to do to get rid of it; I want to help the fight for Breast Cancer. I even have this cool breast cancer sticker on my purse. I've got pink stuff to show support. I'll tell you all the news when I get it.  
  
School is tough. I'm not doing to well in Algebra but I'll hang in there. Umm. I know there's more but I keep forgetting LoL!  
  
Talk to you later,  
  
Mia! ;) 


	15. Relief

To: Mia@gomail.com  
  
From: Roxanne@gomail.com  
  
Time: 6:27 PM  
  
Date: November 6, 2003  
  
Hey! It's great that your brother's getting out of the hospital! I'm so excited that he's doing so well. Tell him I said hi, again. I hope I do get to see him so I can see you at the same time!  
  
That's a huge relief that you don't have the breast cancer where your breast gets chopped off. I mean, ow, don'tcha think? It's like a part of you is missing...Eh. I'd rather not think of it.  
  
Ya know, I might get some pink stuff or whatever to show my support. I might go out and buy some tomorrow or on the weekend. (TGFW! Thank God for weekends!)  
  
I did nothing for Halloween. Ugh. It was so boring. Oh, well, I don't care. Happy late Halloween though! Anyway, mind sending me some candy? :P Attachments for emails are always nice.  
  
Wow, websites seem really hard to me so I'm not gonna try doing them. It's just to juggle school and a website. Or I think it would be. I could do it over the summer, but that's a long way to go...Anyway, I wanna see your website! Mind sending the link so I can see how awesome it is?  
  
Algebra is difficult. I'm having a really hard time trying to understand it. We had a test on it yesterday...I really think I failed. Oh well. I hope my mom doesn't find out. lol.  
  
Oh, I gotta go eat dinner. We got McDonalds! Yay! I'll talk to you later! See ya! 


	16. The Reality

To: Roxanne@gomail.com  
  
From: Mia@gomail.com  
  
Time: 4:23 PM  
  
Date: November 21, 2003  
  
Sorry I haven't written in awhile!! It's been rough. So much stuff, I'm being pushed away and excluded in everything, it's like all my friends have forgotten me. Literally. I have more lying now and hate, it's not funny, I'm being absorbed by books and web-site redo's then ever before because it take my mind off thing. I don't like this feeling. The loneliness and hate.  
  
My brother died on that bed from the one thing we thought would never happen. They switched the meds. My brother?!? My own brother?? I don't get it, it's unreal, I wake up EVERY morning, thinking "He's going to be there, I know it, He's going to be there, he's gotta be there." But when I run into his room, he isn't there. There's nothing there.  
  
We haven't touched the room, not one bit, I told my mom, "If you change it then it will be like he was never there, and I don't want that. I want to remember my brother. Even though I didn't know him long." She agreed and I'm sitting here crying, trying to figure things out, I really don't know what I'm typing, I'm just letting my fingers go.  
  
You know, you don't talk to me too much anymore either, have we fallen apart, too? I've got instant messenger. Can't we talk on that too?  
  
Everything at school has fallen apart as well. Miss Athlete has decided I like a boy, he's nickname will be Germ, but I don't. I don't like him at all. He's annoying and stupid, I don't like him. But we know she likes this boy, he's nickname will be Darn, she likes him a lot, she kicks him and takes his things and call him her Man Whore. He calls her, his Slave. We looked Man Whore him in German. It's Mann Hure (You said it like Ma-wn Her).  
  
Things at home have tightened up too, DI started and my mother is coaching two teams. A 4th and 5th grade team and my middle school team. She puts them together and hopes we work things out. I don't like and when I told her, she got pissed off and decided to persuade me into my room. I went to my room and I told myself she should rot in hell. She shouldn't though, she's too good for hell, and she's too good for heaven, too. They need a place just for her. Some place, just not hell. I didn't mean it when I said it; I was just covered in tears. I mean it, I was just on my bed, in the soft and secure warmth of the blankets telling myself she should just because I said something wrong to her. But I didn't mean it, I don't know why I see these things, Is that why no one wants to talk to me? Is that the reason? Or is it my breast cancer?  
  
Yes, that's it, it's my cancer. No one believes that I have it, I've forgotten what they said to me in the office. But, they had taken me into a dark lit room and told me to lay on the bed, "Put on hand above your head." I did so. "Now, we're just putting this stuff on your breast so the machine will pick up everything. BTW, we're taking an ultrasound." I lay still. They put this cold stuff on me. Like ice on down your back. She stuck this thing on my breast, it looked sort of like, a razor, you would shave your legs with. Well, up the screen it was showing the cyst and the cancer cells. They told me it's all right, it's early and we can clear it up. I go into surgery in 1 - 2 weeks. Wish me luck? Or are you all too absorbed in your own lives?  
  
- Mia aka ~XxSwEeTbLoOd~ 


End file.
